WHAT stops you from having the things in life you want? Money, time, boss,parents, partner, fate or bad luck? What is interesting about these answers is that the cause is external to you and outside of your direct control.
In order to understand how you can influence your external world, you need to understand how your thinking affects your internal world and so your state of mi nd, says Dr A Abraham,dermatologist-turned NIP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) practitioner.
His 50th birthday reflected another landmark in Abraham's life, one that transformed his life and perceptions completely. He gave phis flourishing practice in the UK,returned home to Anthropomorphism and became a zealous NLP practitioner.
Drawing from the tools and methods of NLP,Abraham has evolved his own technique which he calls The Better You Programme,designed to unleash the hidden human potentials and make the mind work for you. Here, Dr Abraham elucidates his principles: What is NLP all about? "Neuro" refers to the neurological processes of seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling and tasting which form the basis building blocks of our experience. ?'Linguistic"refers to the ways in which we use language to represent our experience and communicate with others.
"Programming"refers to the strategies we use to organise these inner processes to - produce results. NLP shows that success is the result of specific pattern of thinking and pinpoints what happens when we think and the effect of our thinking on our behaviour and that of others. It facilitates one's communication both within and with others in a way that makes a difference between mediocrity and excellence. In a nutshell, NLP can be presented as having a clear idea of the outcome in any given situation being alert and keeping the senses open so that one notices what one is getting having the flexibility to keep changing what one is doing till one gets what one wants. In essence NLP is about learning to learn. There are no bulky manuals as the brain is the best manual and only needs proper process-oriented tools.
The brain is like a one-million gigabyte neck-top PC, but with out an instruction manual. NLP provides just that — the Driver software. Then what is"Better You"? How is it different from NLP? It is based on the principle of NLP. It is a subtle form of psychology which tells you how your mind works and is basically concerned with the "how" of things rather than the "what" or"why." For instance, if you have a problem, most people are concerned with what is the problem.
In doing so, you are actually post-traumatic the person. NLP asks how you made a situation into a problem. Now if you can answer this question, you can retrain your -mind as such that the problem no longer seems to be so. NLP is an attitude and methodology that leaves behind a trail of techniques. The attitude involves one of intense and excited curiosity, willingness to experiment and to take all failures as feedback. It focuses on what you want, how you want to be and how to find the resources and attributes you already have to assist you in making changes.
This means that dramatic improvements in your life can be accomplished in a relatively short time. Along with NLP, "BetterYou" incorporates Brain Gymnastics which fine-tunes our brain to make it more effective and alert.Besides, soft baroque music is played throughout the sessions. This music has special significance since its beats arc 60-62 per minute which is the beat of the resting heart. With this soft music in the background,your heart will start synchronising with its beat and you become calmer andmore peaceful. Howexactly does this retraining happen? Our brain basically has a lot of filters. We take in information through our fives. We filter it through our beliefs, values, generalisation sand process it and form an idea which is quite different from reality. We seldom so reality.
If. for instance, you disagree with me, you do so not because the reality is different it's just that you see differently.So far, every communication Skill Thai has been taught is speakership and listeners are ignored in the bargain. NLP shifts the emphasis from the speaker to the receiver so that when I speak to you, I do so the way you would like to under?stand. Is there any specific training or technique for this? We have five senses and communication requires us to.use three of them — seeing, hearing and feeling. However, each of us seem to prefer onesense predominantly over the other two when gathering infor?mation.
For example, if 1 were to speak just two words. North Pole, it might evoke different responses from different people. You for instance, might visualise an Eskimo, an igloo or feel cold. So you use your visual sense more than the other senses.
So the next time that I speak to you, I would use more visual terms to reach across to you. Every time that you communicate with people, they are giving you plenty of clues to tell you that either they understand you, are in different to what you're saying, or what you talk goes above their heads. If you make.it point to note these clues, you know you haveto alter your mode of speaking to them in order to truly communicate with them. I But how do you achieve this when you are addressing a diverse group of people, each one may have different sense predominating? In such a case you have to keep switching from one modality to another. As far as comhering information. For example, if 1 were to speak just two words. North Pole, it might evoke different responses from different people.
You communication is concerned, adhere to the visual, auditory and kinaesthetic (feeling) modes, periodically altering them to reach all members of the audience."Also, another important clue that listeners give is their eye movement.If they are looking upwards, it: implies they are visualising if they are look?ing down, it means they're feeling. So accordingly you use terms to reflect these 1 modes.
Where does the state of mind appear in all. this?
• Yes,that's another factor which is important in NLP. Your performance in any field al any particular time depends on the state you are in and NLP has got technique called Anchoring by means of which you can get. into any state of mind whenever and wherever you want. For example, if a certain piece of music or song lightens your spirit sand makes you feel good. Or if particular incident or experience made you happy.
Since we cannot physically recreate past experiences, we have a technique by which we anchor that experience to our system by physically applying pressure to some part of our body —say, a finger. This pressure becomes trigger to recall and relive that joyous experience.
In doing so, we are practising positive reaffirmations, using a physical catalyst.
This in turn allows us to switch to the pleasant mode when we feel daunted by any situation, like appearing for an exam or interview or consultation with a doctor for an ailment.
But is this not something like positive thinking,the reaffirmations associated with it?
Yes. But there's a subtle difference. Positive thinking can also become positive forgetting after awhile. But the physical catalyst in this NLP technique due to die anchoring helps keep us in the positive state. What kind of problems does NLP deal with? The approach of NLP is not restricted to any particular symptom or applications.
It is successfully applied to diverse fields including psychotherapy,counselling, education, health and business.It has enabled people come out of phobias, traumatic situations, depression, addiction to smoking, to deal ..with stress and negative emotions like anger, in a constructive manner.
Today NLP is widely used in business to improve management,sales, achievement * and performance. It helps the growth of • inter-personal. an intra-personal communication skills whereby employers' skills in recruiting the right kind of people, to the right jobs is augmented. Further, Perceptional Positioning would allow individuals to see things in a broader perspective, more from the others' point of view and hence make for healthier atmosphere, whether in the workplace or elsewhere. ? In education.
it facilitates better understanding of the learning styles of students,. developing rapport among teachers, students and parents. It improves the art of learning, motivation and enables the students to realise the hidden talents they believed only others had-Jt enables you to. become an effective communicator and negotiator and helps you see your failures as' opportunities to make things work for you.
What are the limiting factors to NLP and I "Better You"? Are. there areas where It will not be workable, in the health area, for example. Will it be able to cure d hi -' diabetics or hypertension? Firstly,you yourself would be the limiting
• force for the workability of NLP. If you honestly seek a "Better You," you will practise the techniques and exercises that he sessions teach and advocate Like any other system, it needs you to apply yourself to it. Yes, but what it does is, once you get started on it, you are practically hooked to it because it's a highly motivating tool you ? cannot resist. To be very honest, it does not directly .:change your medical conditions. Of course,
• wherever stress contributes to your malady, "Better You" will help you deal with your stress in the right manner and thereby mitigate to some extent the intensity or frequency of your health problems.