It is disturbing indeed that your child has an inclination towards watching porn but at the same time you must understand that to know about sex and trying to watch or read porn is part of a normal behaviour. But beware, if left unchecked, what your child thinks of as a harmless activity can quickly turn into a dangerous addiction. Adding to that, porn material which your child can access from the internet doesn’t always portray the right nature of sex which is something that is a cause of bigger worry. The longer your child is involved, the worse it gets. Porn sites hardly concentrate on love, romance or emotional bonding between couples and which is why it is completely normal as a parent if you freak out on discovering that your child has been watching porn. According to leading psychologists, here’s how you can handle this precarious situation and help your child understand and have a healthy outlook towards sex.
- Take command of the situation and normalise everything: Chances are very strong that your child is already watching porn confidentially and is getting most of the ideas from his friends. When you address this matter with your child, you need to maintain an unbiased standpoint. As a parent, you must not shame the child as it can lead to further complications. What you should teach him that sexual urges and curiosity are completely normal but watching porn is definitely not the right method to express them. Remember, if you shame the child, he is less likely to be involved in the conversation.
- Be positive in your talks: As mentioned above, porn never focuses on the emotional bonding or for that matter healthy relationship aspect of sex and this is exactly where you play an important role. Make your child understand how porn triggers unrealistic expectations by not showing why two people feel the need to get intimate. Helping your child have a long-term perspective of healthy sex will help him approach porn cautiously.
- Warn your child about the false content shown in porn: Unlike in the real world, porn only explores the explicit side of sex which is some distant away from what sex actually is. Explain the reality of porn to your child that what they actually see on screen is not what usually happens when you have sex. Porn is nothing but a production enacted by the actors. This does not mean that real life sexual encounters are the same.
- Encourage questions and mark boundaries: Ask your child what he has been watching and if there are any queries. Explain what it means to be within the boundaries and things shown in porn are not always safe. Also educate him how to safely procure information on sex other than watching porn.
It is very fiddly to handle such circumstances and chances are that your child may not take it positively. But as long as you serve his bests interests, he will sooner or later understand your perception and may appreciate you for that.